Life for my family changed overnight
By Caroline May - Student Housing Scarborough
Life can be stressful, demanding and busy and I’m sure we all feel like pulling our hair out at times, I know I do as a self employed working mum! I love what I do but gosh it can be a juggling act at times. However it’s on days like this that I have to remind myself that during my teenage and young adult years if someone had said I’d have these challenges I’d have probably been pleased! I’d have given anything to know that in the future I’d be settled, married to a guy I love, have children and have our own business. Why? Well, its because as with lots of people life has thrown a few curve balls for me!
At 13 years old I became poorly after a virus. Within 4 months I was unable to move, walk and was bed bound. Little did I know that this stage was about to last for many many years. Life for my parents and sister changed almost overnight. My mum becoming a full time carer. After a month in hospital and numerous tests I was diagnosed as the first paediatric case of ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) that the local NHS Trust had. Just like at the moment with Covid, it highlights the amazing work of our NHS. Despite being in a small town, their expertise and the determination of a local Paediatrician, Dr Stanton, provided me with a diagnosis, support and ongoing multidisciplinary care that would last for years. I owe them a huge debt of gratitude for this.
This period of time was definitely a huge challenge physically and emotionally for me, however as with any challenge there are many who help us along the way. When I think of inspirational women, my goodness my Mum is definitely one of these women! She (and my father when not working) dedicated their lives to making sure I got the care I needed, doing my daily physio in-between my weekly home physio appointments; turning me over in bed at night; sitting me up to eat each day and many other tasks we all take for granted. My mum gave up everything to care for me.
When on a dementia awareness course more recently I was asked to list all the steps in making a cup of tea - pick up a kettle, take the lid off, fill the kettle with water, replace the lid, plug kettle into the electric switch on, and so on and so on. It was to demonstrate how it is more complicated for someone with dementia than we would think. I guess this is the same for things like getting dressed in a morning or getting washed - we do it so automatically until its taken away or impacted by a condition. Anyone with a bad back will know this. Even moving a muscle is a struggle! This was the same for me. Everything I took for granted was replaced with being cared for. My mum became my carer. Such a strong woman who has a wonderful positive attitude and belief that I would always recover somehow. I also firmly believe people are placed in our paths for a reason and at that time this was never more true. There were so many inspirational women in my life at the time, an Occupational Therapist called Di for weekly visits to support me, a Physio called Judith and my GP Dr Liz Noble - all these people were key to my journey.
My biggest challenge was yet to come though. To recover. How I recovered and what got me from then to now is too long for a blog! However, in short after almost 4 years, my energy levels increased slightly and the years of physio for recovery paid off. First steps were taken, leading to more steps. The path ahead was obviously a long one but I had always loved learning and wanted to study again. However, with no GCSE’s (I stopped school at 13 years old) how would I ever get a job or have a career? What would I do? What did I want to do?
I began with a few hours a week volunteering at local charities/schools, moving to doing a few more hours a week on NVQ Business courses and Secretarial courses too. (Typing is still one of the best things I have learned to do!) I saw many people the same age going onto higher education but didn’t have a GCSE or A-Level to my name. However, one day at the local Scarborough Technical College the then University College Scarborough, had an intro day for people wanting to study a degree! I didn’t have the qualifications but went along anyway. If I’m honest I’m not sure why I went along. I just knew I wanted more. I was told to my surprise that my NVQs represented half my entry qualifications but I could sit a 3 hour entry exam for the other part. I attended classes on how to write essays, sat an exam and was overjoyed to be accepted onto a 3 year BA (Hons) in English and Social Sciences (University of York) I’ve since gone on to study further for an MA in English (Identities) with University of Hull. I later worked in Print, Publishing, HR & Project Management and taught Business at the University of Hull.
Years later, I live a normal active and healthy life with my beautiful family, live in beautiful place, and with my husband we run a successful rental and maintenance business, Student Housing Scarborough. I’m very grateful.
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T: 07729 292903