This new world and life without Mum
By Lindsay Mason
As we started the first lockdown back in March 2020, I was going to be facing the year ahead and all the years after without my Mum. It was only the month before that she sadly passed away from bowel and liver cancer, after a short stay at Saint Catherine’s Hospice, Scarborough. She had bravely gone through treatment for 18 months prior to her passing, and my goodness she was so incredibly brave and positive throughout all of it! Positivity is certainly a trait I have inherited from her, also my laugh, which makes me smile, she really was the kindest and most generous person. I think back to her funeral and feel so grateful that we were able to have the service, the village church was full of familiar faces and being able to have a get together afterwards with all our friends and family was a huge privilege, one we were all so blissfully unaware of one day not being able to do so. As soon as the lockdown came in to place my heart really went out to families who were having to negotiate lockdown restrictions and covid safety precautions, as well as cope with the trauma of losing a loved one.
I took my own gut wrenching feeling of loss and grief and channelled it into fundraising for Saint Catherine’s Hospice. With their fundraising events for 2020 cancelled and charity shops having to close, I knew a huge amount of their vital funding would be significantly reduced. They would need the support of the community more than ever, so I got my thinking cap on and looked ahead with a new focus.
Over the course of last year, I’ve created a covid safe pop-up charity shop at the end of my driveway, a VE Day Cake Stall (all appropriate health and safety measures in place), with my amazing and supportive colleagues at Cura Financial Services Ltd, Filey, we have completed the 2.6 challenge, I have run through the streets of Hunmanby dressed as Santa for their virtual Santa Dash, I managed the virtual Great North Run half marathon, and my latest fundraising endeavours are creating personalised Lockdown Prints online. I have loved seeing all the different ways people are being inventive with their fundraising and have certainly felt inspired by them all too. The support and response from the local community has been amazing, it really shows that the hospice is special for so many people across the area of North and East Yorkshire, and that the current situation has shown that we can do great things when we come together.
One massive lesson I’ve learnt through all of this is to accept support. In the build-up to Mum’s passing, I had been in contact with Red Arc, who are a team of nurses that offer an emotional support service, listen and offer guidance. I was lucky enough to be able to access this through my life insurance policy. I initially contacted them for advice on how to help my children through the loss of their much-loved Grandma, they were 6 and 9 years old at the time, to help me explain everything to them and prepare them for what was to come. After speaking to the nurses for a while I soon realised that I too needed their support, and I’m still in contact with them to this day. They have been amazing in helping me through this last year and they have also been able to arrange counselling for me over Zoom while in lockdown. Although I have had some real low points, which I think we can all hold our hands up and say we have at some point over 2020, I do believe it has helped with my overall well-being and reminded me to take the time for selfcare.
I’m also learning to not hide my emotions from my children, they have gone through so much at such young ages and I want them to know it’s ok to feel sad, angry and to express this. I think there is still stigma attached to our mental health and one of the ways we can overcome this is by talking about how we’re feeling. Their school have been incredible throughout the pandemic and they have recognised the importance of the children’s mental health, and have even scheduled ‘Well-being Wednesday’ into the school and home school schedules.
In everything I do, be that through work or in my day to day life, I always have my children in the forefront of my mind, I want them to be able to look up to both me, their Dad and other families members to see that life can sometimes not go to plan, and my husband Damien has certainly had his fair share of this, having survived two bullets to the head whilst serving with the Parachute Regiment in Iraq, but that is a whole other story (I don’t have the word count!), that you can overcome these challenges in life and use your experience for good.
If you would like to speak to Lindsay you can contact her using the details below.
Lindsay Mason | Marketing Executive | Cura Financial Services Ltd, Filey
lindsaymason@curainsurance.co.uk | 07821453658